September 13, 2003 | 12:58 p.m.
<- Wasting time...and guestbook irritations ->

Ummmmm, what's up with only being able to write like ONE guestbook entry per hour? Seriously...I wrote a guestbook entry, and then tried to write another one, on another site, and I was DENIED. "I'm sorry you're not allowed to write again this soon." What the HELL does that mean? UGH!

It's Saturday afternoon, I'm all dressed up and nowhere to go. Well ok, that's a big fat lie. I have LOTS of places I need to be going, I just don't feel like going into the death trap known as outside and melting into oblivion. I need to go to my school and pick up my books and stuff, so I can prepare for Monday. I need to go to the fabric store with my "fabulous" friend CC to pick out material so he can make me floor pillows, I need to call Cox cable and order cable and highspeed internet access so I can stand to be on the computer, I NEED to go to the bank and deposit some money, and I REALLY need to make the deposit for my parents account and pay their bills. But, most of that does not sound all that fun, except the fabric store. But, CC has not called, poo head!

Jer got super pissed last night because he brought home a rated R movie and CC and I said we wouldn't watch it. Ok, here's the deal....I watched rated R movies all the time growing up, I"m not denying this at all. Then, about 2 yrs. ago I made a decision, that I was actually gonna try and follow the counsel of our leaders and not watch rated R movies. Have I been perfect at it, NO way. I've totally succumbed and watched a few of them. It's REALLY hard when you're trying to do something, and the other person in your relationship tells you how STUPID you are for trying to do that, or rolls their eyes at you, or begs you to just watch this one movie with them. Jer sees it as being uppity, or something like that. It really isn't. I truly want to try and be better. I have a lot of issues, who doesn't, and I'm FAR from perfect in what I'm s'posed to be doing to live a really "mormon" life. But this, not watching R movies, that's a small thing, a really small thing that I can actually have SOME control over. So, yes I've given in to his pleas to watch with him, I've rationalized some things. But, I just mostly wish that he would respect me enough to just accept that I'm trying to better myself in some way, and not degrade me for it. And furthermore, even if I wasn't someone trying to abstain from watching, even if only CC was the one who didn't watch the movies, then Jer REALLY should respect that in a person. If someone says, no thanks, I don't smoke, are you gonna just mock them and say, whatever, just smoke this once, it's not a big deal, you're soo dumb for trying not to? Because that's the same mentality. It's so frustrating! Needless to say, I felt bad for CC, he was like, "should I just go home?" Because the tension was a bit thick between Jer and I. It's hard having different value systems, and sometimes really tiring. :sigh:

Enough on that.

I think I'll get offline and make that call to Cox. I can't stand having a lovely new tv and nothing to watch on it except dvd's.

Buh bye

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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