December 02, 2003 | 12:43 p.m.
<- 2nd entry today: Venting and Disney cruises ->

Forgot to mention; now Jer is hellbent on getting hired for a Disney Cruise ship. Apparently, one of his good friends, who spent time on Broadway in Les Mis, and several years doing Disney cruises, told him last night that there are parts for him. They're auditioning in January, and she's part of the audition team, so she's putting a word in for him. I'm not real excited about this at all. There are MANY reasons, the most obvious being, he'd be on an f'ing cruise ship without me for 7 months. Does anyone else see a problem with this? Next problem, much as I love him, he has a very co-dependent, addictive personality, and I just seriously worry about him. I'm s'posed to be appeased with the idea that I can get on the ship anytime for no charge. Well, how often can I take off from life, AND pay for airfare? It scares me to death. Of course we can't talk about it, because all it seems like is me being controlling, or squashing his dreams. The hardest thing for me is, it always feels like everything is just about him. If it sounds fun and exciting for him, then you better believe he's all over it. Sometimes with complete disregard to other involved parties feelings. I dunno, I'm just scared. And then there is a very small part of me that needs to let him do it, so he can feel fulfilled. UGH!

I'm uber frustrated, just looked at our bank account, again, it's down to nothing, and he's spending money like we've got it to burn. He thinks if he just spends three dollars here or there it doesn't matter. He forgets that it ADDS UP! He went to Fridays last week, for breakfast, well the charge is for TWENTY THREE FREAKING DOLLARS. What the hell is that about? One person, at FRIDAYS! I HATE stressing about money, I hate that it dominates my life. I hate having to worry when we'll get the bills paid. The ridiculous thing is, we make enough money that we shouldn't have this constant worry. When am I gonna freakin win the lottery, or Publishers ClearingHouse. Speaking of, I'm so sick of them promising me I'll win, month after month. Stupid liars! haha But seriously, I sometimes look at my life, and I can't see a time when we'll ever just be able to have cash in the bank and spend at will. I'm being a crybaby, I know it. Ok, I'm over it.

Just needed to get a couple things off my chest. I could write more, but I'll show some restraint.


First graders are about to come in the room. UGH! OOPS! Not first grader, the cute kindee class.

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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