February 24, 2004 | 1:25 p.m.
<- I need to be Oprahized ->
I'm sooooooo tired! I'm barely hangin on here. This was the first week in awhile that I didn't take my Tuesday nap time at Salines house. And my complete ZERO hours of sleep from Sunday night has really caught up to me. WHY OH WHY do I have to teach until 8:15 tonight. I MUST nap. However, I have to hunt down all the music to all the little songs for our little planet play on Friday night. The 2nd graders are really cute, and they almost all have their lines totally learned. I can't wait to see it with their homemade costumes.
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The sweet kindegartners just left, I really love that one class. There is nothing like a 5 yr. old telling you they love you and kissing your hand, and attempting to hug you. I say attempting, because it's quite a feat to try and get your TINY little arms around my massive butt/gutt. And then, while your still feeling stupid and self conscious about what that site looks like (tiny person, giant gutt) another little one comes over to tell you you're beautiful. Even if they are blind and don't konw what they're talking about, it's always good for a slight self esteem boost. I can't believe I'm actually longing for the days when I worked at Lane Giant and could buy all their clothes. It was the only time in my life that I was totlaly fashionable and a clothes whore. I also was so much smaller than I am now, and yet still sooooooo fat! I HATE fat, I HATE weight issues, I HATE the fact that it has to be a battle every day of my freaking life. I have seriously been on diets or eating programs since I was 7 years old. At what point does it finally sink in for good, at what point do you finally get it? I'm actually scared, my body can't take much more, and yet I don't know how to get a grip, and how to have time to cook, and eat right. I need someone to Oprah my ass, just cook and clean and think for me, all I have to do is workout. I KNOW, ultimately it is all up to me. I'm just so tired of starting, stopping, succeeding and failing. I'm just TIRED!
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Ok, that was far more instrospective and emotional than I'd ever intended for this day. See what sleep deprivation does to me?
In OTHER news: Jer got home last night from his successful trip to Chicago and the audition. They LOVED him, he pretty much has a job with Great America. I'm happy for him, because it makes him happy to perform, and he would get to be in his hometown, but I'm also sad. I don't relish the idea of living apart from my husband for 6 months. Just this weekend alone, I was miserable, sleeping alone, sitting in my apartment all alone at night. I was scared, I had to leave a light on. I'm selfish, I don't want him to go, and yet I know I need to let him. Well, IF and ONLY IF the pay and hours make it worth our while to be apart like that. He'd have to be making a good buck, that's for sure. But, I'm sure he will, they were fighting over him, so I KNOW he'll get hours and he'll get the pay he wants. Wish me luck, that's all I'm saying. I can only hope he wouldn't leave until May, 'cause the idea of him leaving next month, Nuh UH! NOT ok with me. I guess only time will tell.
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DANG IT! BAD first graders are here. I must go.
BYE
Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006
