April 18, 2004 | 11:38 a.m.
<- There's good news and bad news ->

ROUGH day yesterday, ROUGH! I don't know what MY deal was, but I woke up pissy and couldn't shake it ALL day. Jer didn't do anything wrong, other than be alive and be in contact with me. No matter what he did or said, I was just not nice. I hated myself for it, and he hated me too. We went to a movie with friends late in the day, it was fun, I had a good hour or so, and then, the UGLY was back. After we got home there was more ugly, so I left and went shopping. I had to get some necessities. I took a good long time and wnadered every corner of Target, since I've determined to NEVER shop at Wal-mart again. I love Target. Anyway, I enjoyed my shopping trip, I got what I needed, AND, I got a little present for Jere. I had totally prayed in the parking lot that I could please just get rid of this horrible grumpiness and be nice. So, I bought him a new shirt and an apology card. I was feeling really good, it was a BEAUTIFUL night out, cool and breezy and I was thinking I'd get home and we could go for a walk. So, I write him this sorry, please forgive me card and come home to present it to him. He was sitting in the office writing in his paper journal. He didn't even turn to acknowledge my existence, all he said was, get out, like I was gonna read his journal. I assured him I wasn't reading it. I handed him the card, he threw it down with no interest to read it. Ok, already, feeling my grumpy start to rise. I kept it calm and just asked him to read it right then. He opened it, read it, barely turned his head to see the shirt I had mentioned in it. He read the shirt (it says I didn't do it) and said, "that's funny." Then he promptly turned back to his journal and said not one word more. There I am standing there, shirt in hand, dumbfounded. He couldn't even give me ONE MINUTE of his time to acknowledge that I was apologizing. Not even a "thanks for the apology, or I appreciate your apology." NOTHING. I was crushed, and then I was PISSED! I threw the shirt down and just went about unloading all the crap I bought. I was unloading as loudly as I could, and slamming things down. I know, it was so totally immature of me, but I was soo sad and so frustrated. He yelled out, "are you slamming things around because I didn't react the way you WANTED me too." I of course ignored him, one because he was right, and that made me feel dumb, and two because I was really irritated. So, next thing I know, he's putting his shoes on and leaving. He wouldn't talk to me, would'nt hear me out, NOTHING. He was just gone. I have no idea where he went, I had no idea when he'd be home. I sat and cried a good hard cry, because it's just so frustrating! Then, I got myself some dinner, watched a little TV and cleaned up some stuff. He came home about 45 minutes later. He didn't say a word to me, nor I to him. I had written him a long letter, but right then wasn't the time to give it to him. Anyway, he went straight to bed, no word to me. Meantime, my sister called, we're talking, and then there he is, sticking his head out the door asking me if I'd go with him to take Traces dogs out. I HATE those dogs, and I don't have anything to do with watching them, and he's just been a butthead to me, but I said yes. I just wasn't up for making anymore ugly scenes. So, I hung up with my sis, and we were off to Traces. We still weren't saying anything really, pretty much the whole time we were there. We took them out for potty break, fed them, then I got on her computer and he played on her piano while the dogs ran around and played. Finally, I coudln't take being there anymore, it does something horrible to my allergies! So, we took the dogs out one more time, and as they were running around outside, he finally said, "could you come here please." I walked over to him and he put his arm around me, and I said, "I'm sorry." and he said, "I'm really sorry too." We hugged for a long time, and I felt much better. After that, we went over to my sisters house, hung out there awhile, and chatted. Then we came home, he went straight to the computer to work on job resumes, and I went to work cleaning. I scrubbed the bathroom and mopped the kitchen and bathroom. I should feel so much better, it should feel cleaner and smell better, but it doesn't. Something in our pipes stinks REALLY bad and it's BUGGING me! Anyway, it's now 2:30 a.m. and I was going to bed. I asked if he was coming, he said maybe. Next thing I know, he's turning off lights and going to bed. Didn't say a word to me, just layed down, turned his back and went to sleep. I was like, "what is wrong?" he said, NOTHING, and I said you're lying. He hates that, it makes him mad. But, I'm not stupid, and I've been with him long enough to know when he is. But, he told me I was making it up, there was nothing wrong, and I wasn't into pushing anymore. It was just wierd. UGH! Here's hoping today is a better day! I know I woke up in a much better mood.


TODAY! Woke up happy, went to get ready, decided to check my messages! My friend J called and asked me to sing "His Hands" in her ward at 2:00, woo hoo! I love opportunities to sing, so I said yes. PLus, it gives me an hour longer before having to get ready. THEN, one of my students had left a message, she and another of my students both made ANNIE at Valley Youth. Here in the Valley, that is HUGE! They are the GREATEST youth theatre program anywhere. They put on phenomenal shows, and twice a year they perform at the Herberger, which is a HUGE, gorgeous theatre that is used for professional shows. It's very rare to get in with VYT after only ONE audition with them. But, both my girls made it AND got parts. One of them, got ANNIE! I'm so stinking excited! I'm excited beyond words for them! Also, this won't look bad for me either. The only downfall is, now neither of them can do the music theatre workshop I teach at. And they're both really strong parts of our workshop. Little sad about that, however, totally happy that they're getting this opportunity!!!!!!


In other news......please, don't walk, RUN to go and see CONNIE AND CARLA, it is a freaking hysterical show! We went Friday night AND Saturday afternoon. No really, we did! Laughed our proverbial asses off too! Nia Vardalos is genius, I'm not kidding, she is a gifted writer and actress!!!

Dear Nia -

Thanks for a kick ass show and for making me laugh oh so hard. And furthermore, thank you for the priceless gem of seeing "and cream" in overall shorts at the end of the show. That visual was enough to keep me laughing for the next year!!

Yours in cabaret -



I'm talking to my friend polkadot7815 right now, discussing a little music theatre! I'm so happy she's starting to update her diary again. I've missed her around here. Anyway, we're discussing music theatre, and I must be on my way. Besides, it's nearly time to shower up and be on my way to church!!

Ta ta for now friends

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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