October 12, 2004 | 11:11 p.m.
<- It's a CRIME! ->

We have a SERIOUS crime show addiction at our house. It's on the level of time for an intervention serious, if ya know what I mean. We've just spent the last 3 hours watching TV and 2 of them were watching Law & Order SVU, one was spent unapologetically oogling the men of Manhunt. No really, I do feel a little bad. I mean, it's so objectifying. These guys just had to droup trou right htere on the side of the road and be told if their body was good enough or not, and THEN go sky diving with a man strapped to their back. But there were some fine booties to be seen, and some excellent pectorals. I think my fave is Paulo, for anyone keeping tabs. Now, back to the crime addiction. Last night, it was a Law & Order SVU marathon on USA, Jer is suddenly OBSESSED, so we watched 3 hours worth. THREE HOURS of PRECIOUS time. And if we're not watching Law & Order, well then it's CSI, or my other absolute favorite, Crossing Jordan. Is anyone with me on the Crossing Jordan thing? That show is funny, AND has the dead bodies and scientific stuff going on. Just so enjoyable, though I could do with Jill Hennessey, she sorta bugs. I do love Jerry O'connel though, my husband is just a fat version of him. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do with this fetish? I finally got over watching all the real life shows on discovery, the FBI files, and cold case things and such. But I think that was on accident, I jsut got to busy, or I fell in love with HGTV too much, either way, I'm over it. I think there needs to be some sort of 12 step program for overcoming this addiction. Hi my name is Ally and I'm a crime show junky. With that said, I should get going, I think I hear Detective Benson calling my name!!

Ok, not really, it was a rerun, but still, Jer and Tracer are waiting to play Canasta. Yeah, we have an problem with that too. I think I'm seeing a pattern emerging here. I have a problem with excess.

On the upside, we're running the entire show tomorrow. WOO HOO!! We ran the 2nd act TWICE on MOnday and I've got to say, things went remarkably smoothly. I was quite pleased. NOW, if we could just get our set finished. Our set designer is a pompous ass who thinks the world revolves around him. But, I'm just not gonna go into that, 'cause I don't have the energy to think of that many words to describe the story. I'm having some serious insomnia these days. I really don't think I've fully slept for about 5 days. My subconscious is FREAKING out. I toss and turn and have crazy ass dreams and nightmares all night long. Last night I dreamed that my parents were home from their planned month long drive across the country. Wanna know why? My Dad got too many tickets and they took his car away from him, and he was just out his $20,000.00 investment. Sent him home like a naughty school boy to the principals office. I felt so bad for them both, my mom and dad. I woke up with the distinct feeling I should call them and make sure they're still toodling around the country. Did I call? Don't be ridiculous, that would mean I followed through on something. No, I didn't call. But I think I'll try to pencil that in for tomorrow.

I have no crew, I'm freaking out. Well, I do have a light board operator, but no stage manager, no spot lighters, no fly guys. WHAT the F mom? I need some help and STAT!!!!

In the long time between writing, I've had several fabulous entry ideas, and I've even thought them out in detail. However, you may have noticed, I didn't write them. I hate this about myself, I really do. I mean, I read La and just LOVE her for writing every day, about whatever. And Uncle Bob, well he's just funny and so loquatious. Yeah, you READ it, I said loguatious. Look it up!!! And I just wish I ever felt like really writing that much. I've got a lot of funny locked up inside here, but she no want to come out, 'cause she's in food coma.

So my bra broke this morning. I've been having SERIOUS bra issues for the last year. I just CAN NOT find a bra that fits decent, or that supports like it should, or that doesn't pop a wire or break a this or that. It's freaking irritating. There was a time in my not so distant past that I had a freaking drawer full of bras. Every color, pretty ones, plain ones, you name it. Then, I stopped working at Lane Giant and the bras dried up. Well that and I gained a 100 pounds, but that's niether here nor there. So, the futile bra search has been on. I find one and think, this is gonna be good. It's support runs out about 2 hours after I start wearing them. Or, the lace rips, or the f'ing wire pops out. THAT hurts, the wire poking into the land of fat known as my arms, NOT pleasant! So, today, I go to put on my boulder holder and the lace tears, leaving exactly one millimeter of fabric to hold up my left jug, while the right side was poking me to death. I'd had enough, after my lesson was over, I toodled on over to my local CAtherines to find me a bra. Now, I don't know what the whole idea of non underwire is, but it's ridiculous. People, if you're sporting anything above a C, and believe me I'm WELL above it, then you MUST HAVE UNDERWIRE! There should be a federal law that says as much. So, stupid Catherines has a freaking store full of soft cup bras, going up to like 56 F or something. I poked around, and searched and searched and came up with 3 piddly bras with underwire that might work. The thing is, there should NOT be elastic in the shoulder strap, that does not promote lift. When your boobie weighs about 20 lbs. per side, elastic can't take it. There shouldn't be stretchy stuff on the top part of the front where the strap attaches, you run into the same problem. Oh you bitches who wear little bitty bras, and have tiny boobies, you have NO idea. Ok, you're not really bitches, but still, I'm jealous. So, I try on the bras, one was a big maybe, though comfortable, it didn't do the most for uplift. The other was ridiculously a NO and the third was decent enought that I wanted to wear it out of the store. So, I decide on 2 of the bras, because even "mediocre" is better than nothing at this point. I go to the register and the lady proceedes to tell me that the bra, now holding up my bodacious ta tas was costing me $1.99. ONE DOLLLAR AND NINETY NINE CENTS. I nearly peed myself right htere. This was not the clearance bin at your local Bit Lots folks, this was a real store, with real bras for real boobs. I had just spent a freaking DOLLAR NINETY NINE on a bra. NEVER in the history of my bra wearing (since age 8 in 4th grade) days have I paid so little. This was only something I dreamed of when my skinny little mosquitoe bite boobied sisters would pick up a clearance bra from Target or something. I feel like I just won the lottery. I won the boob lottery, and I couldn't be happier. To illustrate my current point, my husband just walked in, in his hnalloween costume, which is John Kerry in drag. He's wearing one of my dresses, and my bra and it took T-SHIRTS to stuff it. NOT SOCKS< T-SHIRTS. And they look mighty fine I might add. DAMN, I have huuuuuge boobs. Anyway, to finish this, the second bra was only twelve bucks. Days like this don't get any better.

As a side note, now my husband and Trace are going to her house to show her roommate how he (Jer) looks in drag, and to look at Traces formals, since she's going as George Bush in drag. They bought those rubber masks that go over your whole head, and I'm not gonna lie, they're pretty funny. So yeah, while I'm at my show and then the cast party, Jer and Trace are going to our friends Halloween party dressed as politicians in drag. My life, it's funny when you think about it.

T-shirts......damn, that's amazing. Things like that put size into perspective. OY!

On that note, I'm gonna say buh bye!!!

Editors note: I just read through this, and holy flying frisbees Batman, there are A LOT of typos and grammatical errors. I would fix them all, but that would take too long, and besides, it says something of my tiredness and achey elbowness. I just made that word up. SMILES! That's all for now.

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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