December 14, 2004 | 10:39 p.m.
<- Mourning AR, ramblings of a mad woman HAHA ->

I'll have you know I tried no less than TWO times yesterday to get on and write an entry. Oh, oh, big whoopdeedoo Als, TWO times you say. Well, for me that is HUGE! HUUUUUUUGE I say. Needless to say, I was not a happy d-lander, my entries had been squelched. And of course I can't remember what important piece of non-sensical dribble I wanted to write. And that my friends is all the more irritating.

In other news, there has been a great tragedy at the home of Alspals. Tonight, as you all may well know is AMAZING RACE night. It is a hallowed evening where nothing shall disturb it. It is revered, it is thought of allll week long, looked forward too, etc. Well, in a travesty of justice my Mother went and planned a family affair for this evening, happening at precisely 8:00 p.m. We were to be at my brothers house for a reading of the Christmas story from the Bible, some caroling and cinnamon rolls. Well, after the initial shock and horror, it was decided that Trace would record the beloved show and we'd all get together afterward for our usual, but belated amazing race party. So, all was set, I had my fat self at the appropriated place at the appropriated time. I wandered the neighborhood, lent my sparkling vocals to the caroling (though I loathe and despise caroling with all of my hefty self) and I listened to the Christmas story as read by my father. I happily listened to my varioud nephews share their grand talents. I partook of FAR to many cinnamon rolls and all in all had a delightful time. But, just as we were wrapping it up, there came what shall here to for be known as "the phonecall". Trace called with the earthshattering news that the tape of our beloved show had indeed NOT TAPED! There was nothing but fuzzy static to be found. How could this be? No race, no screaming asshat Johnathan, no beloved Don and MJ? What oh what to do? As it turns out, there is nothing to do. We are adrift at sea, having not seen the show. After I cried for an hour, or maybe 15 minutes, or ok, not at all, I soldiered onward. We came home, I got online, Trace feels like a failure, I told her to stop it. I informed her that we shall love her forever anyway, because she tried. And now, even as I type, she's still on a quest to find a copy of that show so we can see it. I love that about her. Anyway, that was a rather dramatical retelling of the story. I mean, all there is to say is, missed the Amazing Race, sadness reigns supreme, and life will go on tomorrow. The end.

Must go check the mac n cheese I'm making for Jer. Yep folks, that's love.

Yesterday was a freaking fantabulous day of domesticity for me the alster. I got up FAR to early, ummm like 10 til 8:00 a.m. Oh yeah, you read it right, THAT is too early. Anywhozy, I got up with Jer, meandered around, can't remember what else. After Jer left I was so useful. I pseudo dusted, vacuumed, read diaries, started addressing and stuffing my Christmas cards for the Weetabix card exchange, played some games online, took a shower, and cleaned my room, did laundry, and here friends is the beaute of all beautes! I, als of pals cooked a full out dinner. I made the most freaking delicious meatloaf on the earth. No really, it's the greatest recipe EVER! If you want it, just let me know, I'll be glad to share. Anyway, meatloaf, real mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls. Holy crap, I felt so good about myself!!! And to make it better, it was piping hot and ready when Jer got home from work, AND my mummy and daddy came over and partook. Well, Ports, Lanners and Tater tot came as well. Let me tell you, that was one FULL kitchen. But, it was fun, and it felt so good to be feeding other people. Yeah, don't tell Jer, but I could actually enjoy the cooking thing. Did I tell that I cooked twice last week, and both times it was freaking good! Yeah, look out world, here comes chef fatty. Yeah, so after the feast of yumminess, Jer was off to the theatre, Mom and Dad jetted home, P took Tater to the parentals and Lanners and I set off on a mission. Apparently my mom is ready to repaint all her kitchen cabinets and she is VERY confused in thinking she's painting them white. I just can't freaking stand it. So, we went looking for wood flooring, paint colors, countertops, etc. We will help my Mom have a updated home if it kills us. It was tiring, but we got the job done. Tomorrow my brilliant interior designer cousin is coming over for a consult. Can't wait to hear what she has to say.

Ok, moving on. It's hot here and I don't like it. We went from 50's and rainy to sunny at nearly 80. I am NOT ok with that.

Furthermore, I still have NOT seen Oceans 12 and that is NOT ok! Do you have any idea how much I love and worship Oceans 11? What is there not to love in a movie with beautiful people in beautiful places wearing stunningly beautiful clothes, and witty banter to boot? Nothing I tell you, there is nothing not to love. I can watch that movie over and over. So, why this utter shame, how can I have not seen this show yet? Well, I have NO money, that's a big part, and furthermore, Jer is gone EVERY day and night and I have no money, and I haven't found the right time to go. I'm going to make for you, my reader, A LIST. These are the movies I still need/want to see, in order that I want/need to see them.

1. Oceans 12 (George Clooney makes me melt like buttuh)
2. The Incredibles
3. Finding Neverland
4. Spanglish

Ok, so maybe that's it. Who ever said I was a movie whore? My needs are simple. Maybe someone can give me movie passes for Christmas. haha I'm not having Christmas what are YOU talking about.

So, Jer is sick, has a bacterial infection. Thank goodness we have insurance and he got medication. However, I'm NONE to pleased to note that his freaking anti-depressents, even with insurance is gonna cost us 40 bucks a month. Yeah, like we can afford that. UGH! Then again, MY sanity can't afford NOT to pay for it.

In news so totally different it required a page break. Is anyone with me on the "what the f were they thinking casting Tom Hanks in Da Vinci Code" bandwagon? Seriously, Tom Hanks? He could not be MORE wrong for the role of Robert Langdon. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Tom as much as the next million Americans, I really do. But that's just the problem, he's too affable, too lovable, too every manish. He is NOT suave, he is not sexy, he is NOT Langdon. I'm so monumentally let down by this casting that I just may have to not see the movie. Who SHOULD be Langdon you ask? Well, my personal thoughts are Anderson Cooper. Ok, so he's not an actor per say, but HE is what I picture the man to look like, be like. After that, I could have bought say, Richard Gere (though not my favorite thought) or perhaps Colin Firth sans the accent, or maybe Clive Owen, though he doesn't look old enough. I don't know, but there were just a million better choices than Tom Hanks. OY! Can I get a woot woot people! I think I may need to write a letter to Steven S. myself, give him a what for. Ok, I'm done talking on this subject.
Does anyone else find Entertainment Tonight stuck on themselves? No? Ok, moving on.

Is it possible for ones ass to grow exponentially overnight? Or maybe over 2 days? Because I feel like mine has. I don't know what is going on, but its scaring me really. Why is it that I can wish and hope and dream and pray but no willpower comes my way. And also, no Oprahs wildest dream bus. What am I doing wrong here? Seriously though, can you imagine Oprahs big ass bus pulling up in front of your house and the royal highness herself stepping out? That would be toooo freaky. But, for the record, all I need is enough money to pay off my debt and a good 2nd car. See, I'm just not dreaming big enough. However, don't get me wrong, I'm totally gonna win the HGTV dreamhouse, and it's gonna be awesome.

Has anyone else ever wondered about what happens in the houses that Extreme Makeover Home edition builds? I mean, some of them that they do are going from the dirtiest dump heaps to gorgeous, pallatial homes. How do these people cope. Do they know how to properly clean and upkeep? 'Cause I'm SERIOUSLY wondering about the woman and her 3 daughters that got made over on Sunday. She seems like a wonderful woman, has cancer, adopted 3 daughters with AIDS. The house they built was ridiculously big and beautiful. It was like 4 of her old house, and soooo much grander than anything they'd ever seen. So, it's a house full of not well women, who is keeping it clean? What happens if heaven forbid that woman doesn't beat the cancer? Will those girls keep it nice? Will they know how to properly care for a home and pool like that? I just don't think so. I want them to do a, how does the house look now special. How many people have treated their new homes respectfully? How many have trashed the decore? I just REALLY need to know these things. Yeah, I'm officially sick in the head.

Why do random im's pop up trying to get me to look at hardcore porn? It pisses me off really. People who look at porn are freaking stupid. It's insiduous, it ruins lives, families, etc. There is nothing good that can come from looking at porn. It's degrading, disgusting and foul! I think that every porn producer and pusher should burn in the hottest fires of hell. UGH!!! What is wrong with people, why do they let this filth into their lives? OY! It makes me so angry, I just can't talk about it anymore.

Whell, on that note, I'm gonna sign off. This has been one rambling trip through Als mind.


P.S. and for the record. My Uncle used to work for Howard Hughes. He was one of the "mormon" boys who worked for the man back in the day. How fun is that!

P.P.S My hair sucks!

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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