June 20, 2005 | 9:01 p.m.
<- Again ->

This was originally posted on June 5, 2005. I left it up for a day, and then took it off. I was afraid that if Jer read it he'd get really mad and my life would become a living hell. But, as time has passed, I just think, HEY, it's my diary. It's MY place to share my heart, my thoughts, my life. Why should I have to edit my heartfelt emotions out of fear? Goodness knows he's written FAR more horrible and offensive things about me in his diary for all to read. So, I'm putting it back up. Now, in doing so, it's a risk, things have been good, and this could rock the boat. But, like I said, I can not and will not censor myself anymore.

You LIED to me! You promised me that I would NEVER have to beg and plead. You assured me you would be true to our faith always. YOU LIED! You promised I wouldn't go to church alone, and that you'd be true. I believed you. You LIED! You covenanted to be honest and true, to do all you could. You LIED! Just because you make mistakes here and there and hate yourself for it, you run and hide from God, from church, in embarrassment and fear. You let Satan have the upper hand. All while you're busy being smug, acting like you're indifferent to it all. You push away that which is most important and that which can help you the MOST. You say you want what is best, you SAY you believe, but your actions say otherwise. You LIED!
You ask why I care, but then WON'T hear me. You choose to become angry, annoyed or hateful. Why I care doesn't matter to you. The only thing that matters to you is your self pity and selfishness. You only care how something makes YOU feel. You ask why I care? I care because I believed you when you told me I wouldn't be alone. I care because our belief system is fundamental and important. I care because you're hiding from yourself. I care because I love you and want to see you succeed. I care because I want us to be an eternal unit, not two ships passing in the night. I care, because I DO!

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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