November 19, 2003 | 6:41 a.m.
<- Oversleeping and Boobage ->

Something is jacked on my computer here at the ol' schoolio...it says 6:41 a.m.,HA! It's 8:45 and I've been awake for almost 2 hours. YEAH! big ol' fat woopsy today! At 5:00 a.m. my husband turned on some music to try and drown out my snoring. Ok, I admit it, I'm not afraid of my huge flaws. I snore like a freakin freight train. I'm not proud of it, it's horrifying, but what can I do? Anywho, he turned on the music and for some reason, in my brain it registered like a damn alarm clock going off. I tried to ignore it, I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't. I was sooooo frustrated. I started whining, "turn it off, boo hoo hoo, TURN it OFF" so he complied. I really should have been getting up in about 20 minutes, and I thought I would, since I'd set the alarm the night before. WHELL, unbeknownst to moi, as I stumbled into bed at 12:00 a.m., in the pitt of hell house, I turned on the wrong alarm. So, I fell back to sleep in the newly quiet room, and sleep I did. The only reason I woke up was...my husband was ever so subtelly POKING me in the head. You read right, POKING me in the head. So, I opened my eyes and what does the clock say??? SEVEN O'CLOCK! "SHEEEEEIT" I screamed. I'm s'posed to be out the door by 7:15, and friends, there is no such thing as a fast get ready for me. Even in my quickest of all quickest rushes, it's a 45 min. ordeal. So, I did the most unheard of thing I've EVER done. I jumped out of bed, changed my undies, threw on some deoderant and perfume, washed my face and put make-up on as fast as I could. To any and all who think that is NO big deal and you do it everyday. More power to you, but for me, it is a monumental moment. I feel so dirty, greasy, slimy and gross right now, I can barely take it. Furthermore, I don't have any lipstick or eyeshadow on. AND, I never even combed my hair, or looked at the back in the mirror. I just asked my manz as I was running past if it was ok. He said it looked fine, I just accepted it and ran. So, here I sit, unshowered, greasy and dirty, teaching the children of America how to sing some Christmas songs. Can't wait until 1:30 today, when I'm done and I RUN home to my beloved shower and cleanse! CLEANSE! On the upside of this experience, my waking up and screaming, scared the pee pee right out of my hubby and so he got his lazy booty up and came to school with me. He's doing his service learning at my school, with the 3rd grade class. So, I can be grateful for that, otherwise, he may not have shown up today. I love him, but he just fails to take school as seriously as he should.

I had the CUTEST kindee class this morning, so enjoyable were they. There is this one little boy who I'm just in love with. He's so cute, and he reminds me soooooo much of my nephew, who is also a kindergartner, as fate would have it. Anyway, he just sang his little gutts out today, and was so well behaved. That's the thing, when they're behaving, they're all the cutest freakin things ever. It's just when they're ACTING 5 and their attention span is non-existant that I wanna kick 'em. It's a figure of speech, so don't get your panties in a twist anybody.

Last night was the sis-in-laws baby shower. She made quite the haul, it was impressive. MIght I say, there are some REALLY cute baby clothes out there, and I think it some kind of crime when an infant is dressed better and more stylishly than I am. Honestly people, they're BABIES, they pee and poo and spitup on their clothes. I can at least contain my bodily functions, so why shouldn't I have as cute of clothes? My in law, ok her name is Jode, is the freakin cutest pregnant person. It's so not right, she's due in like 3 weeks and she's so SKINNY, not an ounce of weight on her body, just baby, straight out in that belly. People like her should be shot, come to think of it, my other sis-in-law was JUSt as adorable and skinny through her pregnancy. And both of them go directly back to skinny bones after having the babies.

I need TWO guarantees in life before I can get pregnant. Well ok, I need divine intervention and some great medical help to get pregnant, but that's beside the point. What I really want is a promise; a promise that I'll be one of those ladies who loses weight during pregnancy and one of those ladies whose boobs actually get smaller when nursing. I know it's possible, I have friends who have done both. But, I know that I'm just the kind who will balloon more than I already am, AND my already HUGE boobies will get bigger. I cannot deal with that thought, AT ALL! I have a hard enough time finding a bra for these boulders, what am I to do if I shoot up to a freakin size F? Can You see the dilemma here?

Drat, it's almost time for the 2nd graders. ::sigh::

Well, I must get goin.

Have a smoothing day!

Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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