October 26, 2003 | 5:25 p.m.
<- Wasting time, describing New York ->

It's Sunday, 5:30 nearly, and what I SHOULD be doing is prepping for classes this coming week. I SHOULD be listening to Saint-Saens "Dance Macabre" and figuring out what I'm gonna do to make it fun and exciting for my students. I SHOULD be writing the test that I'm giving them. I SHOULD be doing anything but reading diaries and writing in my own. However, this IS me we're talking about, which means, I'm reading diaries and writing in my own. I don't know, I'm just a challenged individual. Last night we were at some friends house and we were just all sitting around talking and such. Well, one of the girls there is actually finnishing up her degree in music education, and she just loves it. She teaches a kindergarten class one hour a week, and LOVES it. My point here is, I was feeling so stupid, and again with the imposter motiff as she was talking. I just wanted to say, ok, take my job, run with it. I SUCK! But, then the realities of the cash flow set in, and I just kept my mouth shut. But seriously, I have a different calling in life....it's called winning the lotto. HA, I slay me sometimes.

So, my older sister got married on Oct. 10, it's her second marriage, she has five kids. The guy she married is 13 years younger than her, no, I'm NOT kidding. They dated for a couple of years, and they're truly happy with eachother, which is fabulous. My point in this story is, she hadn't had sex in about 4 years, he's a virgin, so they were READY to get married so they could move forward. So, got married, went to Hawaii for the honeymoon, a BEAUTIFUL place, a gorgeous hotel suite, all is well. On day number TWO they decide to sit out on the beach for a bit, catch some sun. After a 1/2 hr. he retreats under and umbrella, and she stayed out a little longer. She maintains that they did have sunscreen on, but apparently not enough. Because folks, I'm here to tell you, they spent the rest of their 7 day honeymoon in sheer agony. He had 2nd degree burns covering his entire back, and she had them up and down the sides of her legs. Needless to say, if it weren't for the vicodan she happened to pack, they would not have survived. Furthermore, these poor sex starved people, had a sexless honeymoon. Now THAT'S comedy.

I don't know why I felt like sharing that, but it's done now, so get over it.

New York, I'm ready to talk about it, even if I do it in sections.

We arrived at 11:30 p.m. Tuesday night. The night before I'd called ahead and ordered us a town car to take us to our swanky hotel. In my forethought, I mentioned to the man on the phone that there would be three large adults with 2 very large bags, three small bags, and various carryons, would a town car be enough, or did we need the limo? He assured me that the towncar was fine, he'd make sure to tell the guy to have his truck empty, etc. So, after 45 minutes waiting for luggage, it finally comes out. Trace had already landed, got her luggage (took a different flight) and was waiting in the car for us when we finally meandered out to the curb. By this time it's raining, and we're standing in the rain. Why standing, instead of comfortably sitting in the car on our way to the hotel? Well, it seems dimwit didn't get the memo about our luggage and size. Just her two bags alone filled up his trunk, which could be do to the fact that he had literal garbage filling up the bottom of his trunk, plus a carseat and a sparetire the size of Nantucket. So, when I moved to get in the front seat, he yelled in his broken english "no sit in front seat." Well this is good, our luggage has no hope of fitting and now I'm not allowed to sit in the front seat? So, I go back to speak with the man, and informed him of the conversation I'd had with the guy the night before. The driver was like, "noone tell me, I didn't know." "I call for another car." I then informed him, get me another car, that's fine, but I will NOT be paying for two cars. Poor guy, he was so frustrated, he just lost a fare, AND we're standing in the rain. So, finally, driver number two pulls up, and he fits ALL of our luggage oh so comfortably in the gynormous and clean trunk of his town car. His name was Andre, he was from Ukrain, one year driving in New York, saw a picture of his son. I like to make friends with all my taxi, and car drivers when I'm travelling. Anyway, the real comedy begins when, three fatties try to fit in the back seat of this car. You have no concept people, we're talking FATTIES! So, Jer gets in first, slides to the far side, then Trace gets in, lifts her right cheek so i can somehow squeeze my largesse into the now availabe 2 inches of space. I somehow got in and got the door closed, but essentially Trace was sitting on top of Jer and I. We were laughing so hysterically, there just wasn't anything funnier, EVER. The drive, now seeing the error of his ways, starts to clear out his front seat. but, but this time, we're so wedged, and laughing so hard it wasn't worth moving. He was pretty amused with the picture as well, who wouldn't be. I can only imagine what it looked like when we pulled up to our swanky ass hotel and we come piling out of the back seat. Oh the humor. But, we all made it, and finally we were near a bed. The room was really nice, but so small, as all New York hotel rooms are. Jer and I had to share a double bed for a week. AGain, big booties on a small bed, means one of us wasn't gonna get a lot of sleep. We finally went to bed around 1:30 a.m.


I got up at the buttcrack of dawn so I could be ready and out the door by 7:15. I'm proud to say, I accomplished my mission. We were on the street hailing a taxi by 7:20 a.m. He whisked us on up to Columbus and 67th so we could get in line for Regis and Kelly. We had tickets, but you still had to get in line like you didn't have tickets. It was wierd, I don't pretend to understand. So, after much waiting, and just when I thought we'd never be in the studio in enough time for the show to start, we were in the studio. It's a beautiful little set, and a tiny little studio. It only seats about 150 people or so, and everything just looks soooo compact. But, right at 9a.m. as promised, out came Regis and Kelly. It was so wierd to see them as real, in the flesh people, but so fun. Fascinating to watch a show be taped. At each commercial break they'd come out into the audience and take pictures with people, and talk to us, and answer questions, etc. It was soo fun. We saw John Cusack, a very quiet and reserved man. We also so Halle Berry, now that was wierd. It so did not seem real that she was walking out there. Her hair is really long right now, so it REALLY didn't look like her at all. She was nice, it seemed. We also so Kellys husband Mark, that was a funny interview. The time flew by, we were shown a couple of times on TV, my friend saw us as he was watching it that morning. Me being the dorkwad that I am, would clap with my hands in front of my face, it sucks to be this brilliant. After the show, we made our way down 7th ave. I think. We went past Julliard and the Met. John Lithgow went striding past us, wearing a little beret. Jer loves him, and so wanted to say hello, but the man has seriously long legs and lost us in an instant. It was a long, but nice walk back toward the hotel. It was fun to take in the sights and sounds of the city. Everytime I go back, it seems like I never left. That afternoon we saw "Nine" with John STamos in the lead. He is a beautiful man, enough said. Mary Stuart-Masterson was quite fabulous as well. It's a very bizarre show, not one I'd care if I saw again, but there were some beautiful artitistic things about it that I loved. After the show we met John and Mary, both so beautiful in person, and really nice. We met up with my beloved Stephen and his friend Angie for dinner, had a good time with them. Then, I took a taxi, cuase my fat ass was way to tired to walk anymore. Honestly, I live in AZ, NOONE walks anywhere, especially me. So, to go from no walking to have already walked nearly 4 miles that day, my body said, "I HATE YOU." We saw "Thoroughly Modern Millie." I LOVE that show, it's my second time seeing it. It's so cute, and fun, and cute and clever, and cute. Delta Burke is in it now, and she kicked butt! Seriously, she was sooooooooo much better than the chick that won the tony for that part. Loved the show, was more tired than I could ever express. Waited around, met Delta, got a picture with her. Her cute husband Gerals McRaney was there, waiting for her, so I got to meet him as well. Seriously, I lvoe him, Major Dad man that he is. After that, we went to the Roxy Delicatessan and spent, no lie, 9 bucks a piece on cheesecake. It was the dumbest thing EVER. I generally tend to avoid those tourist traps on Time Square, but this time, I fell for it. YIKES!!! Finally, we headed back to the hotel, oh how glad and happy I was.

Thursday: I literally stayed in bed the entire day! It was GREAT! Jer and Trace went to the wax museum around 3:30, I stayed behind to rest and watch TV. It was soooooooooooooooooooo GREAT! I've been to New York enough times, that I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. But, that night, fun for us! We saw Hairspray, and it was super the funnest show ever! It's seriously so funny, and just cute. And, that is when I had my fated meeting with my love Clay Aiken. It was a brilliant night!

Ok, this is FAR to long. I REALLY have to change the laundry and do something constructive. So, more details about Friday and Saturday, later.


Change, she is a comin! - November 24, 2006
Little bit of nothin - September 14, 2006
That DID happen! - August 10, 2006
Dinner with famous friends - August 05, 2006
Morningstar - August 04, 2006

What Was | What Will Be

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